I receive tons of messages from people for whom relationships seem to be their major life’s obstacle.

Their worries are well founded.

Without others, there is no success.

I highlighted 15 fundamental rules about social and emotional intelligence.

Learn the rules and amazing things will happen to you!


1. Gratitude

Everything starts from there.

Recognize, express, celebrate others talents, their success, their skills, and always be grateful about the beauty of life.

Charming people know about this.

You know, the ones that always make you feel good about yourself and whose company is a real pleasure.

If you don’t recognize people’s value, you will never be socially intelligent.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero


2. Take part, and create

Are you enjoying life?

Great, but If you aren’t producing anything, deep inside, you don’t care about others.

You have to produce to be helpful.

Producing means to create, design, implement, develop solutions, inspire others, and to contribute to the world.

Whether by creating music, starting a blog or organizing events, embellishing people’s lives in a way or another with your creation is crucial.

Don’t create something for the sake of social intelligence, do it with full heart and devotion.


3. Stop judging

 By judgment, I mean putting others down.

The only acceptable judgment is the positive one.

You are not in people’s shoes, so stop judging their lives.

If they put their time, energy, passion and sweat on a project and get a disastrous result, they don’t need to hear your negative remarks.

Unless you are trying to be helpful, of course.


4. Adapt

Try to understand before trying to be understood.

When social and cultural differences are large, this becomes crucial.

Take notice of your vocal inflections, your manners, your vocabulary and your body language.

This is a great way to put your differences aside and connect with people.

You can’t talk to a young professional the same way that you talk with an elderly person in a residential center.

“The contact is the appreciation of differences. ” – Frederick S. (Fritz) Perls

5. Don’t ever consider yourself superior to anyone

Back to # 4 for explanations.


6. Empathy

To adapt, you need empathy.

Putting yourself in people’s place, and understanding how they feel is crucial to creating a connection.

Without empathy, there is no social influence.


7. Give, Give, and Give!

Most people give just to receive.

True generosity has immense power.

Building a strong professional network seems impossible?

Well, probably because you only think about receiving when you try to connect with others.

People notice when you try to help them with true integrity, without waiting for something in return.

This is how you close the loops and how new relationships arise.


8. Always ask

How much does a question cost? Zero. Nada. Nichts.

Yet, few people dare to ask questions.

You will never succeed alone, you need others to move forward.

A strong network available to assist you when needed is crucial to success.

A mutual capacity of assistance is the secret of a strong relational and professional network.


9. Autonomy

 Autonomy is the key to freedom.

Autonomy means knowing that others may be late for your appointment.

Knowing who you are mean that you don’t need anyone to tell you what you have to do and you don’t need to ask anyone for permission to live your dreams.

It’s about being your own captain.

If you still need someone to tell you what you have to do, then your social influence might be proportionate.


10. Reliability

Trust is paramount to your relations.

Mutual reliability is imperative for strong relationships.

People seek to reduce uncertainty and unreliability from their lives.

Would you like to have a social circle filled with unreliable people that you can never count on?


Socially intelligent people detect unreliability.

They have the ability to smell untrustworthy people from miles away.

Related Read: 5 Little-Known Factors Affecting Your Integrity


11. Build your social circle when you don’t need it

Socially intelligent people know that a social network is built before they need it.

As an example, if you’re in college and your goal is to establish connections with influential professionals in your field, don’t wait until graduation.

According to networking experts Keth Ferrazzi, relationships are created when you meet people in different circumstances.

Take one of your colleagues as an example.

Imagine meeting him in a yoga class, or elsewhere than the workplace.

Your conversation’s dynamics and circumstances will change the way you perceive each other.


12. Communications Hierarchy

A Twitter’s message and a physical encounter don’t hold the same engagement.

The same way, an SMS is not as engaging as a phone call.

A private social network message doesn’t hold the same weight as a personal email.

Power exists in all relationships.

Communication’s mediums and messages lengths are accurate indicators of relationship’s power.


13. Use social media wisely

Socially intelligent people know how to use social media (especially LinkedIn) for their image, their reputation, their influence, and credibility.

Thanks to the content they post.


14. Understanding Dress Code

Dress according to circumstances.

If you dress the same way in cocktails as you do at the gym, you have a long road ahead.


15. Manage key keepers

Key keepers have the power to connect you with human resources or other influential departments.

A potential business partner’s secretary, a casting director, or someone with a rich professional contact book are great examples.

A strong network is fundamental to success.

This is often neglected by people that lack social intelligence.

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39 Inspirational Step-By-Step Quotes to Success